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by: Terrence Real  List Price: $25.00 Price: $12.82 You Save: $12.18 (49%)Prices subject to change. Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Format: Bargain Price Label: Scribner Manufacturer: Scribner Number Of Items: 1 Number Of Pages: 304 Publication Date: December 31, 2001 Publisher: Scribner Release Date: January 01, 2002 Studio: Scribner Related Items:
Browse for similar items by category: Click to Display Editorial Review: Product Description: Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this groundbreaking new book, bestselling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted more than a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40 to 50 percent. Our culture prepares us to fall in love, but it does not give us the skills we need to stay in love. Here Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it. The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles, Real explains. In the past thirty years, women's roles have changed radically and men's have not. For the first time, adult women are asking their partners to access the very skills -- emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibility -- that most men have had psychologically, if not physically, stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not raise boys to be intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same time, girls are taught to be compliant and accommodating. The result is that, within relationships, men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which either sidesteps the issue or reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills. Real's insights into marriage are a direct outgrowth of his pioneering work on male depression, which culminated in his bestselling I Don't Want to Talk About It. As in that book, Real draws on myth, literature, film, and heartrending stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, marriage, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles but also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of love is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections, and he then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the book that every couple has been waiting for -- and our culture needs. Average Rating:
 Rating:  - Own Up!That's what this book helps you to do...it's hard to seperate responsibility when emotions are running high. Sometimes it just helps to know that someone else has been where you are and lived to tell about it! Rating: - Relational Intimacy in an Era of Changing RolesThis is an excellent book. Real has thought through couple's issues in a smart way, refreshingly different than many who have preceded him. In this book, Real faces head-on the reality that many women come into couples work with fierce anger, frustrated by trying to achieve true emotional intimacy with their man. His premise is that many women's responsibilities and aspirations have grown as part of the women's movement and their resulting, empowered roles, during decades when many ... Read More Rating:  - Not convincedMr. Real asserts as an established fact that traumatizing events in childhood cause us to adopt patriarchal male and female roles in our adult lives and in our relationships. Even if this were true - and for the record I wasn't convinced - he has precious little in his book that a lay reader can take away and use. I found his writing style to be pedantic and touchy-feely at the same time (not an easy thing to pull off), and sprinkled with long stretches of incomprehensible gibberish. Why use one ... Read More Rating: - How Can I get through to you?This book was written before the Marriage book Terry wrote. In some ways I got more information that I needed. If you are trying to improve any relationship this book is a must read. Terry Real is right on! Rating: - A must read for therapists as well as couplesI read this book to get continuing eductaion credits for my social work license. It's completely changed how I look at the therapy process. It's also completely changed how I look at my marriage. It provides an effective, yet not impossibly complicated, roadmap through the dilemmas and no-win situations in which couples find themselves. It gave me insights into what I was doing wrong, and ideas of how I could quickly change. Is this a male bashing book? I thought so at first. As much ... Read More 
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