Books for Prep | |
 - Truth and help all in one book.I was once in a relationship that tore me apart. I hated the guy, but I couldn't bear to think of life without him. He had be questioning my sanity and going from one extreme to the other. For two years, I poured all of myself into a relationship that was unhealthy, one-sided, and destructive. My brother recommended me to read this book when I was in the relationship, but I felt too proud and stupid to read something with "Please don't say you need me" on the cover. After the relationship ended, I was bored one day and began reading. It was like a revelation... I didn't KNOW how much of a co-dependent relationship I was in. I really cannot recommend this book highly enough. I think there is a lot of truth and potential help for those who are miserable and lost in unhealthy relationships. Even people who are not in relationships might gain some insight and wisdom from reading this book. Rating:  - False diagnosis led to more abuse!This book, as well as a false "codependency" diagnosis empowered my abusive husband to continue his cruel behavior. He was horrific with constant verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, and he wanted to blame it all on me. I lived in fear and torment through my entire marriage, but my abuser said it was my fault for "making" him angry with my personality and attempts to have my own opinions. He told me I needed to change to be more like him and went to therapy saying I was ruining his life. Unfortunately, his therapist didn't know the truth- that my husband was incredibly demanding, controlling, expecting and abusive. He would wait on me hand and foot, against my wishes, then berate me for hours and hours at a time because nothing I did in return was good enough. He was critical and impossible to please. So, my husband came home with the idea that he was codependent and that he was enabling me to "act out." He read this book, and decided that I was the one making him codependent and that I was the one who was abusing him by not giving into his every desire and making him happy enough. Sadly, this led him to abuse and criticize me more, and he now has even more excuse to deny responsibility for his cruel and torturous behavior. Instead of recognizing and stopping his abusive behavior, he decided that, since he was codependent, I must be the corresponding abuser. Never mind my bruises, emotional anguish and fear every time he came home! Maybe there are people who could benefit from this book, but in my case, it caused my abuser to deny his actions and escalate his cruelty. Maybe there are codependent people out there who do allow people to abuse them, but in my case, the man who behaved with some codependent mannerisms was the abuser. Things got out of control when he decided the opposite, and I moved into a domestic violence shelter. Rating:  - A basic for CoDAA great reference and a classic for practitioners and for those struggling with these issues. Rating: - Read it a long time ago, gave it as a desired giftTimely in any decade of life, with any relationship in life. A must read for "why can't I fix them" folks. Rating: - start a new lifeCo-dependent no more should be read by anyone who has ever lived with an addict of any kind. If you find yourself always trying to fix everybody's problems, & forgo your own happiness, this book is for you. It will change your life if you let it. You will see yourself in every page. If you feel like everyone depends on you for everything, this book is for you. In association with Amazon.com | |